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In conversation with Boukje Jongedijk about Self-love

Just before the end of 2020 I was in conversation with Boukje. and that was fun! A wonderful person with a wonderful view of the world, brave and full of enthusiasm and not afraid to make choices that are appropriate and good for her. She interviewed me for her Positivity podcast about 40 Days of Love For Yourself. And immediately attached a loving win-action to it :-) (you can find this on her website).

This is her podcast: https://soundcloud.com/positiviteitspodcast

This podcast is about positivity, one of the happiness pillars of life. In her episodes, she searches for optimistic guests and experts on positivity and tries to unravel the secrets of a positive attitude to life.

And this is her website: https://boukjejongedijk.nl

This is what she writes about this Podcast:

Self-love and shame don’t mix, just like water and oil, says Marieke Zwinkels, author of 40 Days of love for yourself in this podcast. While there is more than enough love for everyone. According to Marieke, self-love is one of the three keys that you need to be completely yourself. The second is clearing your life baggage, the third is learning to receive. Keys that are inextricably linked and form the core of a happy existence.

What does self love mean? Marieke discovered that self-love is about giving space to what is real, without judgment. Feelings of guilt, shame and (self-) judgment stand in the way of self-love. Feelings arising from the drive to achieve, lust for recognition and appreciation. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Questions that Marieke had been working on from a young age and that challenged her to find out more about self-love. For Marieke, self-love is an ever-evolving process in which she learns to let go of guilt, shame and judgment. This creates space to allow self-love. “Self love and shame don’t mix, just like water and oil.” Letting go of your own feelings of guilt, shame and judgment has a great advantage: you no longer see it in others. Marieke recognizes that letting go of these feelings is a painful process, because you have to look for the deeper layer where these feelings come from.

Tidy up
This is how Marieke arrives at the second key; clearing your life luggage, or as she herself says: your shit. Stop hiding unserving emotional, behavioral and thought patterns. “That which is in the dark cannot heal. That which comes to the light cannot be otherwise”, Marieke clarifies. Once you dare to face your shit, a solution will naturally come to you. And by pronouncing it, you notice that more people are busy clearing their life baggage. Being free from limiting patterns, beliefs and emotions makes you happier, because there is no longer a part of yourself that tries to take over your steering wheel.

Love for everyone
People should value themselves more. Realize that behavior that comes from love can just be there. Marieke notices that people think they need rules to behave well. According to her, it is the other way around. Pure behavior needs no rules and leads to a lot of love for everyone. To achieve more purity in your life, you can start the day with three questions: what do I really want to do, what do I really feel and what do I really think? It helps to write down the answers to these questions. Always write from the idea that no one ever reads it, that’s how you get to know yourself best. Want to know more about self-love? Then listen to the entire podcast.

Marieke raffled 3 copies of her book 40 Days of love for yourself among the listeners of the podcast.

Go here to Boukje’s site to enter the giveaway:

And don’t forget to listen to the other mega-interesting and great podcasts she offers there!



Previous Episodes

What is an energy leak, how does it arise and how do you prevent it?

The question What is an energy leak, How does it actually arise and How do I prevent myself from having energy leaks kept coming back during sessions lately. So it’s high time to pay attention to that!

This Podcast tells about how an energy leak is not so much caused by circumstances, but more by the position you take when you make a choice within the circumstances.

In this way you are always able to choose a position for yourself that at the very least does not cost you any energy, and rather yields energy.

This means that you always stay at the wheel, no matter what. And that is freedom.

This is how growth works (very useful to know)

Actually, this Podcast comes out of a question about something else: why do I sometimes feel this HUGE panic? And why am I so VERY angry sometimes? The answer to these questions naturally leads to an explanation of how growth works. Because panic and rage, or even terror, are part of growth. They are part of it and they have a very specific function. Understanding this helps to not keep getting stuck and bumping your head against the same song.

This Podcast explains how growth works and the role of panic and rage. I also tell my own super personal story: about panic attacks in the bathroom, and about how I moved from not feeling any anger at all to embracing anger as my friend who takes me further than ever before.

More about Out of the illusion. In yourself. Where everything is right.

Out of the illusion. In yourself. Where everything is right. Maarreh… How do you do that, out of the illusion and within yourself? How do you create a real, free and happy life? And what is that, a ‘real’ life? I’m alive, really?

In this Podcast all these questions are answered and you get a perspective on how you can actually and sustainably move on to a life from who you, really, are. Learn everything about cleaning up your shit, Loving yourself and Receiving and discover how you too can find your way (in fact very easily).

More on: A Fairy Tale (What Really Happened)

This Podcast is really just a story. A fairy tale of now, but then really happened.

It tells about how, young and unconscious and mainly busy with ‘having a good time’, I ended up exactly where I needed to be.

How on the way I was shown the way by messengers in the right way at just the right time.

How The Womb of the Goddess has now, in our time, been made fully functional again by two groups that had agreed to it long before (but didn’t remember anything until it happened) and their teams, by all of us together.

It’s a story you could call incredible, improbable even. A story where you can shrug and pass by.

Unless… You’re part of it. It is also remembered by you. When you feel something vibrate in your bones.

Then you don’t walk past it, you don’t shrug your shoulders and it may sound just as unbelievable but your heart knows better.

More about: What abundance really is

abundance. A commonly heard term. And usually it conjures up an image of mountains of gold, dancing in a rain of money and smiling and radiant being able to buy and do anything you want. But nope, that’s not what abundance is. That is a form, an idea, a thought about abundance and how you want to experience it. The form. But abundance cannot be experienced, pursued or desired, it IS. In every experience, in every moment, in every way.

In this Podcast I explain how the greatest confusion about abundance has arisen. I’m talking about the idea that you should choose ‘between’, rather than ‘for’. And you see the relationship between your experience here, as a Powerful Reality Creator, and how abundance supports you in everything you wish to experience therein.

And you discover how to make the choices that bring you the experiences, from that ever-present abundance, that you want.

More about: Spiritual Competition

That feeling of hers is further, I must also be happy, I should also have written a book a long time ago, should have developed a method, why he and I not, when will it be my turn, if I do not reach thousands of people and help I failed, I have a task and I have to do it, oh dear I’m late and I’ll never finish it and then I die and I failed. And is god mad at me for failing.

The topic of Spiritual Competition is extremely relevant at the moment. The above kind of thoughts and feelings play a role and you see them everywhere. For many people who are involved in consciousness development, personal leadership and personal growth, Spiritual Competition sneaks in the door before you know it, and you can’t get it out. Result? stress. Uncertainty. Despair. A sense of failure. Want to give up. Burn Out. Depression. That which once generated enthusiasm and joy becomes a task, heavy, again something you have to ‘do’.

This morning I had a Webinar for participants in The Freedom To Fly about Spiritual Competition and it was so interesting and valuable that I decided to make it a podcast. And the great thing is: the questions from participants suddenly make it even more relevant and valuable. For example, people are asked about the pressure that lies on ‘Being happy’ and how you can deal with it.

In this Podcast I answer that question and much more. You learn to understand and recognize Spiritual Competition and you discover how to let go and choose to trust yourself, who you are and what you come here to do.

More about: The Misconception 'Take care of yourself'

How the big misunderstanding about ‘taking care of yourself’ only leads to more stress, more shame, guilt and judgment. And about how self-love – as always – is the key to more freedom, peace and happiness.

I suddenly heard a participant in the Intensive Program say: yes, I really MUST take better care of myself. This prompted a number of questions on my part, and a falling penny on hers.

As soon as you take the concept of ‘Take care of yourself’ and give it a twist in which you, yourself, are not good enough, far enough or nice enough, you are immediately doing the opposite of… you guessed it . Take care of yourself.

In this podcast I explain how ‘taking care of yourself’ can only be a result of self-love, and never something you can work for, for which you can do your best or what you can set as a goal. In other words: not an end in itself, but a natural and logical consequence.

More about: On anger and rage


About anger and rage, how that arises in your system and how you can empty your depots. Spoiler alert: Yes, everyone has these depots and they are the least attractive to work with of just about anything

When you feel flat, like ‘Mwah..’, when you don’t really enjoy it, when you feel like you’re ‘stuck’, when you feel ‘nothing’, then maybe you are arrived at your depot of suppressed rage.

And if you think, I have not, because imagine: you are light, love and full understanding and love, aren’t you?

Then this Podcast is for you: an eye-opener and a handle to take up more of your space, to be more yourself, to be more real.

Anger and rage are the least attractive emotions and in this Podcast you will hear why we feel that way, how they are anchored in your system, how to empty your depots and how to simply stop creating new depots. So that you are more free again, and can live your life from your true self.


More on: The myth of procrastination and self-sabotage

About so-called procrastination and self-sabotage, and how you as a Powerful Reality Creator really know what you are doing, about Inspired Action and your plan. And about all faith in you.

This week it kept coming back: ‘I’m sabotaging myself. I can only procrastinate. I’m not moving.’

I didn’t believe any of it. And it turned out not to be true either. It’s just one of those things you can tell yourself and believe in before you know it. But believing that is miles away from the Powerful Reality Creator you really are. So don’t fall for it. And listen along, to get a different perspective. A more loving, however, truer perspective.


More on: The announcement of Love and Light Audio

wow. After a year or two of simmering, and a week or two practical preparations, after creating a style, a way, figuring out how and what and letting it all come together I record my first Podcast today, here and now.

January 9, 2019. Not an episode, but an announcement.

The announcement of Love and Light Audio. I’ve lived up to it and I’m ready for it and tell you what it’s worth to you.

In this Podcast I tell you how Love and Light Audio came about, but I mainly tell you what it benefits YOU. How each episode will contribute to more freedom, more love, more empowerment and more security for you. How it will be your support, a Beacon of Light. How each episode helps you on your path. And how you can live more as the Powerful Reality Creator you really are.